Surgery

Hosea 6:1 - Come let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.

Ben and I would like to have children. We have one child in heaven and in hopes to also have some here on earth I am getting ready to undergo surgery on Tuesday, June 2nd. (We would appreciate your prayers.) As we have been moving through this process I have been overwhelmed by the Lord’s kindness towards me. In hindsight I see His hands at work preparing and equipping me…faithfully serving me daily bread. And even though I have some anxiety about going under the knife I am also filled with a sense of excitement. With this opportunity to put my faith to the test I feel like a pilot who has painstakingly worked to build a plane and is getting ready to see if it will fly. Don’t dark valleys often make the sweetest memories? They are places where we are forced to risk, to leap, to trust and therefore able to discover anew God’s faithfulness and sufficiency.

John Piper says that God is not an ambulance driver, He is a surgeon. What he means by this is that God doesn’t show up once we’ve been damaged and broken and put us back together. Instead, it is God who wounds us so that we can heal. Just like a surgeon He skillfully cuts us…breaks us…heals us. One of the words for “healed” in the Bible (Joshua 5:8) is “hayah” which means to live, exist, enjoy life, recover, be well, rebuild.

I am getting ready to have surgery on my uterus but through this process I sense that God is doing surgery on my heart and mind. He is removing unbelief. He is cutting out fear. He is scraping out my control issues. He is hurting me so he can heal me, and I receive it as kindness.

Hosea 6:1 - Come let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.